Musings Part 6 — Doubts

Have you ever wondered why you bother to write?

Or worse yet, if you’re even good at it?

Is it presumptuous to think you are? That you must be doing something right? I mean, you are published after all that says something doesn’t it?

Yes, I’m in Border’s looking at all the published books. I’m not feeling well suddenly so I may have to rush out very quick. I’m going to purchase another book, The Warded Man by Peter V. Brett. I’m reading Giest by Phillipa Ballantine and I’m wondering if I will ever join them on these shelves.

Yesterday I spoke with a gentleman who is also a published author and we got into a conversation about books. He didn’t know I was an author but he went about saying how frustrated he became when publication eluded him. He made it finally but he did tell me the myriad of times he told himself not to give up but then he would put his work away saying something like he needed time away from it. Then he said he realized that every time he did put the book away he was in a sense giving up. He vowed never to do it again.

I’ve given up about fifteen times in the past several years and I’ve set books aside. Drawbacks like my big PC crash made it difficult to start over. It still isn’t easy. I’m still reeling from that writing defeat of mine. I tried to get over it but I can’t. Maybe the trick is learning to work with it or around it. Not sure which is better?

I see all these books and wonder, when will that be me? When will the trade magazines announce my fifth in a series of books?

Of course this won’t happen if I don’t write as words don’t magically appear, well not as far as I know. Wish it were as easy as it sounds.

Ah well…back to work. I’ve got the whole Sunday to write. I mean seriously, you’ve seen those gas prices.




About authorcjblack

I'm a multi-published author of fantasy, erotic and paranormal fiction. The first two books of my series, Illusion of Night and Memory in Shadow are currently available from Liquid Silver Books as well as a recently published novella, Soul Fires. I'm currently seeking an agent who loves heroic fantasy as much as I do, to rep my work, Tinderbox. I’ve been an author for almost thirty years and got my start on an old typewriter at the age of five and wrote my first novel at fourteen. Probably the world’s biggest bibliophile I own three-hundred plus books and counting. My hobbies include working in my garden, cooking and I’m possibly the world’s oldest Girl Gamer. I encourage readers and authors to contact me to discuss the business anytime.

Posted on May 1, 2011, in musing. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I wondered the same thing why I love to write. But it's the passion of writing though 😉

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